You know this is what the rest of your life will be like if you marry him, right?
You better get used to it.
I could never do that.
You knew what you were getting into when you started dating.
These are just a few of the comments I get on a regular basis when it comes to my relationship with Clint. I have always wondered, am I the only one who gets these comments? Am I the only one who is bothered by them? I decided to ask… “What phrases/ responses bug you the most?” Below are some of the answers from women all across the nation who have a significant other in the military.
“Well, He signed up for it!” This one leaves me speechless most times. I hold my tongue a lot when it comes to talking about the military with a “civilian.” No one volunteers to be on the other side of the world on Christmas day instead of with their family.
I hate hearing “I don’t know how you do it, I couldn’t”.. We do what we have to do to move forward.
“what happens when he dies? How much money do you get?”
none really bother me much I just think when they say “i don’t know how you do it” or “I couldn’t do it” that they really have no idea what love is if they aren’t willing to wait for their man for a year.
I hate “My husband went out of town for 5 days. I know exactly how you feel”. Yeah ok, sure you do.
‘well you signed up for this life style Sophie, you knew how it’d be’ yes, I did but it doesnt make it easy
the worse ever is “why did you have kids, if you knew you would be raising them alone” this one hurts, we have kids because we love them
“You knew it would be like this.” ~UM, NO… I didn’t know we would be in a war, didn’t know he would deploy to a war zone 3 times, a year each time, and dang it, I don’t have to be “hard” and not emotional.
“so what do you think hes going to do out there, u know hes going to cheat on you right”
Its not just the responses I get…its when people use the term Navy wife. Like, “Oh….your a Navy Wife” as if I am nothing else, as if that defines me.
I would say the rants about how awful the “war” is are the things I hate hearing the most….All the rants either sum up that he’s stupid or what he’s doing is stupid.
It just amazes me that people can only see it from their point of view. When I bring up any of those things I’m not asking for sympathy, but a little bit of support would be nice. Civilian families usually can’t understand what we go through and think that we bring it on ourselves and that we want the lonely days and nights and crazy hours.
We have all been in a situation where finding the “right” thing to say is difficult. Talking to a military significant other is just another one of those times… No one can be expected to always know the perfect, magical words. But the comments above are honest thoughts, from real women, who are just trying to live life as best they can with the person they love. If nothing else, let this be food for thought and a glimpse into the minds of the brave, strong-willed, unselfish women who stand behind our military.