my strong face

 

I’ve been wondering this a lot lately.  They say that missing someone is supposed to get easier because each day you’ve been apart is one day closer to seeing each other again.  I suppose it’s true, but it’s been getting harder and harder for me to put on my strong face these days.  The time just isn’t passing fast enough!  I know I’m surrounded by love and support from amazing people, but sometimes it really just feels like I’m alone in a crowded room.  Too often if feels like that and I hate it.

Words can’t really properly describe how much I miss him and how badly I wish he was home.  And honestly, sometimes I really hate blogging or talking to people about it because I feel like I’m complaining and being annoying.  But I don’t really know what else to do or how else to express my feelings.  I’m getting to the end of my rope and it’s getting harder to hang on. 

I just want to be able to stop pretending that I’m always fine.  I want to say things are great and really mean it.  I don’t want to cry anymore.  Most of all, I really just want that missing piece to be back in place for a while.

Tonight I am going to go to bed alone again and pray that he will find his way into my dreams.  I really hope it happens so I can get even the smallest moment of time with him. 

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4 thoughts on “my strong face

  1. Some days are just always going to be tougher than others, but you are strong enough to handle those days! Don't ever feel like you're annoying and whiny because honestly, from what I have seen, you handle everything with such grace. It makes me proud to know you 🙂

  2. So I posted a comment or tried to and it didn't go through. I'll recap with a short version: I think we owe it to the other women (and men) out there who are feeling what we are or will feel what we are to be honest. This isn't easy. It just isn't. It's hard. And there will be tears and bad days. Having tears and bad days does not mean that we are not 'ok' it just means that this is hard.You're not whining… You're reflecting. And believe me I've played the 'down play it and deny your feelings' cards myself. All it did was make me feel dead inside and make it impossible to slip back into 'on' mode when my hubby came home.And also… Maybe it should get easier because each day is another day closer to them being home, but each day is also another day farther from the last day I saw him. Both are true, and I feel them both at different times.((((hugs))))) to you. We're going to get through this one too. Glad to have company as we slog through it.Val

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